Apr 4, 2024
Hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of the Freedom Culture Podcast. Today we are talking all about confidence. How to get it, how to keep it, and how to use it to your advantage. So this episode is how to generate ultimate confidence. Let's dive in. The first thing I want to focus on is how can we free ourselves from thinking about what other people think about us.
So the number one way to drain your confidence, I would say, is to compare yourself to other people. You know, going on Instagram or social media or wherever and looking at what other people are doing and internalizing that as something that you aren't doing yet or you're looking at an ideal and sort of measuring yourself against that.
So one of the books I've been reading lately is called The Gap and the Gain. And that's really all it talks about, is how to live in the gain, not in the gap. And the gap refers to comparing yourself against an ideal as opposed to, um, and sorry, measuring yourself against an ideal as opposed to measuring yourself against what's actually happening, and the progress that you've actually made.
And then of course, living in the gain would be focusing on the progress, the gains that you're making every day and really focusing on that. So I wanted to just touch, on a few points that this book has introduced to me and I'm loving this book. So this book is by, Dan Sullivan with Dr. Benjamin Hardy. So one of the ways is to measure your own progress, but using this little tool called WINS. So essentially every day you're going to write down three WINS that you had today and then write down three WINS that you'd like to have tomorrow. So let's talk about how important it is every single day for you to be tracking your WINS and think about what that could actually look like six months from now, 90 days from now, even, what kind of difference do you think that could make for you?
Because let me just say from the book, so, It states that writing down three wins daily is one of the most effective ways to stay out of what they call the gap. You feel like you're always winning and making progress. It keeps you in a state of momentum and confidence. Well, I absolutely love that.
That's the state that I want to live in. I don't know about you. But measuring your own progress is the best way for you to do that. It's also the best way for you to, um, stay out of that comparison. So, if we're focused on ourselves and what we're doing, the accomplishments that we're making, the wins that we're having every day, it makes very little time for us to be, uh, focused on what other people are doing, or what other people might think of us.
And one of the other things that kind of go hand in hand with that is making sure that when we're asking people for advice, we're actually asking people who, can really give advice on a specific topic that we're asking them about. So there's nothing worse than asking somebody to weigh in on something they don't know anything about.
And that can sometimes lead to breaking a bit of our confidence because we are leaning on someone that maybe doesn't have the experience or the knowledge to really be able to give us good advice on the subject. But we, we take it anyway. Sometimes it's not what it could be. So I hope you understand what that kind of means.
But anyway. Let's move on to the next one. So measuring backwards, let's take note of that. Measuring your wins daily, super important and I think can help us to focus more on ourselves and less on what other people are doing. So another way, of course, to increase your confidence, and I think this is pretty obvious, but sometimes we don't really pay attention to these things, uh, is to improve your self talk. So how important do you think it is for you to be telling yourself a good story about yourself every day? So what is that story that's playing over and over again in your mind that you're telling yourself about you?
About who you are, about what you're good at or not good at, about what the things are that you're doing every day, and how it's having an impact. So if our self talk is really negative, or if we catch ourselves being really negative, that's something we can definitely work on and change. I mean, no one can change our self talk but us, and self talk is one of the fastest and easiest way to really, make any kind of change towards having confidence.
I know I've caught myself many times, like, uh, Steph, like, what are you doing? Sometimes that's just a matter of, hey, checking in, like, hey, wait a minute. You got to do something different here. But definitely I can be really hard on myself, and I think we all have gotten to this sort of stage of, giving ourselves less grace than we really need.
So I think it's important we check in on this. So if this is your cue, if you're hearing this, maybe it's for a reason, like, let's check in with what you're really telling yourself every day. Um, and what kind of words you're using too. So let's try and be really positive. And not just like this in the silly positive way.
Oh, like you can do it, but yeah, you can do it. If we're saying things to ourselves, like, how come I'm not so successful or am I not smart enough to reach my goal? Things like that. Those kinds of ideas are not really fueling us to continue working on what we're trying to do and to continue to try and improve.
So we want to say things like, I'm getting closer, just gonna keep going and keep making progress, and you can do it, you've got this, and always being your own cheerleader, it's very important, especially when maybe you don't have other cheerleaders in your life, so if that's the case for you, and you don't have people around you who are cheering you on, and who are really there for you and supporting you, then you've gotta do that for yourself, and that's okay, you can do that for yourself.
You don't need anybody else to big you up or to, to, help you improve yourself talk. That all comes down to you. And it all starts there. And no matter how many people you have around you telling you how fantastic you are and how great you are, if you don't believe it, then it doesn't matter what they say, right?
So we got to believe it. It starts with us first. And that's definitely one of the pillars of confidence is to believe in yourself and really start to. dissect areas where you're not as strong in that belief. So in what areas of your life are you not as confident? Maybe it's, uh, I'm getting on stage soon.
So if getting on stage in front of a crowd is not something you're confident with and you want to be, well, that's an area that can be worked on. I mean, a hundred percent, you can do whatever you want to do. As long as you're willing to try and to put in the work to do it. So another way to, generate more confidence is to shift your perspective.
So, we need to make sure that we have a good perspective on failure. Um, how to fail forward, what does that even mean? I think that sometimes we have this negative association with failure when really, um, failure is just a part of life. It's a part of experiences. And the more you fail, probably the better you're doing in life.
Some of the most successful people aren't scared to fail because they know that it's part of a journey to success. And I entirely believe that. That doesn't mean I'm going to be planning on failing. But I'm not going to let it hinder me from moving forward with my goals. And I think that, um, failure really are just opportunities.
It's an opportunity to learn from the failure. And even to perhaps shift that into, is it really failure? I don't even see it really as failure. I see it as just a, an experience, a learning experience. And I think that's all in, in your perspective. So shift your perspective into seeing things like failure, for example, and frustration or even disappointment, all of those things can be shifted.
Why are we disappointed? Digging into those things and really figuring out what the root of our feelings around those things are because that can be an important, way for you to start to understand how you operate. And we're all different, so we all need, different things in order for us to succeed and to feel confident.
Practicing gratitude is also another amazing way to boost your confidence. How can I be more aware of yourself? What's going on around me and to give gratitude for everything that we have, everything that we're able to do, just even waking up today, the sun shining or, or the birds in the sky, like just simple things, running water, all of these things that some people don't get to experience, right.
And even just being grateful for the very, very basic things in our lives that we would normally, maybe go all day without even giving gratitude to. and really starting to see that there's a really cool YouTube video and it's called, Grateful Day by Brother David. Take a look at it. And I'll, I'll include the link in the, uh, show notes.
It's one of, the ones that I go to all the time when I just need to feel more gratitude. So I'll watch that. I'll listen to his voice. And it is a great way to give yourself a boost of, of gratitude for sure.
I’m just sorta checking my notes, see if I've missed anything, because definitely I want to, give you lots of good ways to generate more confidence in your life.
So another way that, Many people do boost their confidence is to keep feeding your mind. I've been resourcing some Tony Robbins, work. I've done some courses with him and, obviously if you've ever heard of Tony Robbins or if you've ever seen him speak, I don't know if there's more, a more confident person, because he really believes in what he says, and I think one of the keys to that is to make sure that we are constantly learning.
Um, we're feeding our mind all the time, we're learning new skills, and that can really help to boost your confidence because, the unknown and, maybe not knowing something that people are talking about around you all of the time. It's nothing to be, ashamed of or anything, but you're not in the know, that can make you feel far less confident.
But when we start to learn things and maybe we start to master a skill and we get really good at something, that could definitely build our confidence. I think you can understand how that could come to be. So if it's been a while for you, if you haven't learned anything new lately, just take on a new project.
Take a course. Jump into anything that interests you, really. There's like a million programs online that you can access super easily at your fingertips and have on your phone in about five minutes. So, what's something that you're interested in? A hobby or just a subject matter that you find really intriguing?
Dig in a little bit. That's definitely one way to build your confidence and in the meantime, learn something new and maybe even build a new skill that can help you in your life.
The other area, of course, is one thing I did touch on, which is the belief in yourself. So how can we, firm up our beliefs in ourselves? So how can we believe more? How can we increase this belief in ourselves? And I think, The Power of Awareness by Neville Goddard is one of the resources I always go to.
It's a great book, and I consider it to be really deep. And what would be said in the book if we used confidence instead of another word would be is…the easiest way to become more confident is to assume that you already are. Then live by faith in that assumption. So what does that really mean?
Well, I'm going to say, you know what? I'm super confident. I have ultimate confidence for sure. And that's, I'm not saying that. This is the statement I'm making so that I can assume that that's what I am. So, even though if you know me or if you've heard me speak or anything, you probably think that I have some confidence, because I do.
Um, and I hope that that would come through. But it's not always that way, right? I mean, there are times when I don't know things. I don't know everything, definitely not. I'm learning every single day, and I love to learn. It's been something that, I've over the last probably 10 years or so that I've really enjoyed is learning new things and learning that I'm never going to know it all.
And I don't even want to know it all because that would be boring. And what else would there be to do? I want to keep learning all the time. But that assumption, um, and living in the faith of the assumption that I, have ultimate confidence is something I can say to myself all the time. I have ultimate confidence.
That's it. It's that simple. You just start talking about that. You start, living as though you are confident. And it's really just assuming the role of a confident person. So that's it. That's one little trick. You can manifest your own confidence. If you don't believe in manifestation, then, well, I don't know what to say.
Because I definitely do. I've manifested many things, for myself in my life, and I really do believe in it a lot. But the power of awareness really, technically, is all about, manifestation. So I think that living by faith, in confidence can really help people to see themselves in a different light because what you're going to do is imagine that you are confident.
So you're going to spend time in your imagination and you're going to think about being confident and you're going to see what it looks like. You're going to, put yourself in scenarios where you're showing. your confidence. You're living in that confidence and it's coming out and other people are noticing, for example.
So you could close your eyes and picture yourself, super confident walking into a room. Um, and you're commanding because you have this confidence about you. And it's not arrogance we're talking about here. We're just talking about confidence and confidence is not to be perceived as negative. I don't think that in any kind of way I think confident people are very attractive.
I think that, confident people are some of the most amazing people. They know what they want, usually. And confidence in the way that I admire it is not arrogant. It is just an awareness. The ultimate awareness of who they are, what they want. And the things that they value. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all.
So one of the, other things I wanted to share, is my, quote that I just kind of came up with I find that, confidence, it's not just to be perceived by others. It's self serving…intentionally. And what that means to me is that I can use confidence to, improve my life and that is serving me.
So it's not just that I want to be confident so other people can perceive that of me. That piece matters far less to me than what confidence can actually do for me or can allow me to be so that I can do for others. And I think that's what I hang on to. It's not that I want to be perceived as confident by other people.
Yes, that's all fine and great, but that's not. why I build my confidence. I build my confidence because it brings me closer to my goals. It allows me to live in a state of, happiness where I can feel, gratitude. I can feel happy for myself. I can feel happy for others because I'm confident. And it also allows me to experience more joy.
I'm not comparing myself to other people. Now, mind you, I'm not perfect, so I will scroll on Instagram and see something and go, ugh, and it just gets you, you know, because you love it and you wish you'd thought of it or whatever, right? Like, we're all human. So, um, And that's fine, like that's okay. I'm not going to beat myself down, but I will catch myself when I'm doing something like that.
And sometimes it's just habitual, right? But remember, habits can be changed in the blink of an eye. Make one tiny change, stack those habits, and you're off. You can change those things so quickly I love this topic. I could probably talk about confidence all day long, and I don't want to, give away too much, but if you're paying attention to what I've been doing, and if you're listening to this in real time, over the next two weeks, there's going to be some exciting opportunities coming your way, all around confidence.
Okay, this is the first, topic that I'm going to be actually offering something on. So stay tuned for that. I hope that you do. And, definitely look for those links in the show notes. So, uh, this is a bit of a shorter episode, but I think you got the point. Confidence is all up to you and whatever you give to that will allow it to grow.
If only thing that you take away from this, uh, if you, if you were just able to take one thing away. Just remember that confidence can be yours at any point. Just assume that you are confident and then live in faith in that assumption. Thanks for listening. Bye for now.
References made in this podcast episode;
The Gap and the Gain
By: Dan Sullivan with Dr. Benjamin Hardy
https://amzn.to/3U1qtj4 (this is an affiliate link)
The Power of Awareness
By: Neville Goddard
Youtube Video;